


spiders don't do peppermint oil, for reasons

by tony_stank616



Series: based off textposts whoop [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Doctor Who References, M/M, Other, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, So is Tony Though, if you couldn't tell im a ironstrange shipper, pepper is so done with tony's bs, so apparently spiders hate peppermint, so therefore peter does too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-26 20:25:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17148536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tony_stank616/pseuds/tony_stank616
Summary: “Peter I swear to god do not give DUM-E that fire extinguisher! DUM-E Don’t even think about it!“Oh you little jerks.”





	spiders don't do peppermint oil, for reasons

**Author's Note:**

> so it appears i'm doing a text post series kay
> 
> also: Where peter hates peppermint oil cause of the spider bite so tony sprays him with it and refuses to come down from the ceiling for like four hours

Normally the lab was calmish, AC/DC playing while Tony worked on six different projects for SHIELD, and updating his suit at the same time, and if Peter was there, Peter working on different chemistry projects with Bruce, upgrading different weapons for the team, or updating different parts of his suits. Usually.  
Today was different. Tony and Peter had been testing a new web formula, one that was fire resistant and lasted longer, and things had gone a bit sideways. There may have been a fire.  
“Peter I swear to god do not give DUM-E that fire extinguisher! DUM-E Don’t even think about it!  
“Oh you little shits.”  
DUM-E had grabbed the fire extinguisher, and sprayed Tony down, completely ignoring Peter, who was laughing so hard he had fallen on the ground.  
“Peter! We agreed never to give that idiot a extinguisher! This is what happens!”  
“I-I know!” Peter spoke between gasps of laughter. “But Pepper showed me those videos of you testing your first few suits, and I had to see it in person.”  
“Pepper you traitor!” Pepper wandered in, raising her eyebrow at the sight that awaited her.  
“Tony, what did you do?”  
“You showed Peter the tapes of me testing these suits?!”  
“Of course. He had finished his homework and you weren’t up from the labs for dinner yet, so I figured we both would find them funny.”  
“How did you even find them? I hid them in an encrypted file that I only have clearance for via…” Tony trailed off.  
“FRIDAY you jerk.”  
“Yes boss?” Her voice had a certain smug tone.  
“Did you give them access to those files?”  
“Of course not boss.” FRIDAY managed to convey barely concealed laughter in her voice.  
“This is what happens when you give a fucking AI proper sentience dammit.” Tony muttered under his breath as he found a hose in the corner of the lab left over from those early days, and sprayed off the foam.  
“Peter I’m going to kill you.”  
“You try.”  
Tony stalked back towards the lab table, grabbing a spray gun, and squirting it at Peter, who hissed like a cat, scaled the wall of the lab, and huddled on the ceiling.  
“Peter. What the fuck.”  
“What. Was. In. That. Bottle.”  
“Should just be water, uh, hang on.” Tony uncapped the bottle, and a whiff of peppermint floated up.  
“It’s peppermint oil. Whoops. Must be from Bruce’s experiment on the effects of different extracts on the body, he’s trying to prove the effectiveness of essential oils in a bet against Natasha.”  
“Tony.” Pepper was holding back laughter  
“Yes?”  
“Spiders despise peppermint oil.”  
“And?”  
“I’ll give you a minute.”  
Tony thought about it.  
“Holy shit Peter must have gotten that from the spider bite.”  
“There you go.”  
“Well then. Hey, uh, Pete, you coming down anytime soon?”  
Peter hissed again, and shook his head.  
“Well, uh, then I’m gonna go get a sandwich. I’ll be back in a bit.”  
Tony and Pepper walked back out of the lab, and into the kitchen of the compound.  
“I’m totally going to screw around with this peppermint thing.”  
“Tony don’t you dare!”  
“Imma do it.”  
“Tony!”  
Tony left Pepper in the kitchen, and headed back down to the lab with a sandwich for Peter, how had come down from the ceiling.  
“So, wanna tell me about it?”  
“It feels very very very weird.”  
“Very specific. So no more peppermint oil?”  
“Yes. Is that for me?” Peter waved vaguely at the plate.  
“Yep.”  
“Gimme.”  
Tony passed over the plate, and began to work on his suit, grinning to himself.  
Peter finished his food, and went back to his web fluid, which still was liquifying after about three hours, which could potentially pose issues.  
“Gum?” Tony grabbed a piece for himself, and passed one to Peter. Peter put it in his mouth, and just let it fall right back out again.  
“Tony. What the heck.”  
“Hmmm?” Tony turned his back to Peter so he couldn’t see him laughing.  
“You fuc-fudger!”  
“Good save Pete, bravo.”  
“Why the heck would you give me mint gum?”  
“FRIDAY, you got that right?”  
“Of course boss. Use Put It On the Fridge Protocol?”  
“Definitely. And send it to Stephen.”  
“Seriously? He has to see it too? Is this payback for DUM-E?”  
“Why of course Peter, what did you expect? Back at MIT, Rhodey switched my screensaver in class to, um, well, you don’t need to hear that, right before a huge presentation. Learning to pay people back is a necessary skill.”  
“One day you’re going to have to tell me what he did.”  
“Someday.”

Later that day, the team, the everyone was gathered in the living room for movie night. It was Loki’s turn(after the events of the Infinity Wars, as the team had taken to calling them, Thor had brought him back, and most people were okay with him now). He had picked Doctor Who, which everyone was down for.  
“We’re doing the tenth doctor. David Tennant is clearly the best one.”  
“I beg to differ, Christopher Eccleston is undoubtedly the best.”  
“You’re all wrong, Jodie Whittaker is superior.”  
“Loki it’s your choice.”  
“C’mon, do Christopher Eccleston.”  
“We’re doing David Tennant. He’s amazing.”  
“YES!” Clint danced around the room.  
“Fiiiine. But we’re doing Eccleston next time.”  
“Natasha. No. Next time we’re doing Jodie Whittaker.”  
“Shut up Stephen.”  
Tony wandered into the kitchen to get some form of snack, and possibly alcohol, when he heard laughter from the living room. Peering around the door of the fridge, Tony could just see a video being played. The one of him being sprayed by DUM-E this afternoon.  
“Peter I’m going to murder you! Nothing will be left!” Tony sprinted into the living room, where the rest of the avengers were holding their stomachs and almost crying from laughter.  
“Peter you asked for it.”  
“Tony don’t even think about it!” Pepper had caught on before Peter had.  
“Oh my god Tony if this is what I think it is.” Stephen had understood too.  
Too late though, Tony ran back to the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of peppermint extract Steve and Bucky used for baking occasionally, and jogged back over, unscrewing the bottle as he went. Running over to Peter, he flicked a few drops on him. Peter instantly hissed again(like a cat, Tony noted), and scaled the walls, crawling along them with Tony chasing him down, flicking extract every so often. They ran out of the room like that, apparently heading down to the labs, which couldn’t be a good combination.  
“Someone explain what the fuck just happened.” Steve ran his hand over his face.  
“Language cap.”  
“Screw you Barnes.”  
Stephen took the liberty of explaining, with Pepper nodding in the background. “Spiders do not like peppermint. At all. So Peter had gained that trait from the spider bite, so Tony flicking him with peppermint extract is him paying him back for showing that lovely video. I’m never going to let him forget it too.”  
“Oh my god I’m dying.” Wanda spoke up from the corner. “I’m going to start growing mint.”  
“I’m never letting this go.” Sam joined in from where he sat on the beanbags.  
Tony jogged back into the room. “Peter may or may not be down. He’s on the ceiling again.”


End file.
